weird

I went on the best date of my life last night, with Jordan Hughes, the Kabe-replacement* tech guy. I'd never once been on a date with someone who opened the car door for me every time we got in. In all that time that I hadn't, I used to hate that etiquette because I envisioned it to be unnecessary and awkward, but Jordan did it routinely and without ever asking attention from it, so it was just simple and respectful and beautiful. Not that it isn't unnecessary; the fact that it's totally unneeded makes it a spectacularly excelling gesture. It formalized the general casualness and pretty much qualified the activity as a date. Other dates I've been on, I call them dates now, but in comparison, they were really just times I hung out with guys on their own. So, in a sense, last night was my first date. It was the first time a guy has gotten a 100.

Not only that, it was the first time for a lot of things. My heart melted as I sat in the car and listened to Jordan belt along to Josh Groban. I used to hate that music. Now, I guess, I'm a changed woman. (I sound sarcastic. I make it seem like he did it seriously. But really, he was being funny, and it was very funny.)

I talked to Dad about it today. Jordan Hughes is a Mardee-type**. He's brilliant, he has the right values, and the right attitudes, but he's culturally ignorant. We watched a Scottish film "Dear Frankie", and it was really good, but I felt worried when he said it was the best movie he's ever seen. It's not that big of a deal, but it is. Me and my extravagant upbringing. Me and my biases. It's possible that I'm the one with a bigger problem.

Just like with Michael, I presume last night was my one shot with Jordan. I still think P-Pack likes him, because she goes up to talk to him frequently, whereas today, when we were getting head shots with DC, I didn't really go up to him or anything. Maybe it's because I just can't see myself being with him. Or with anyone. I've never been okay with the obligation of being around someone all the time. And it's even more awkward with Jordan and Michael, because they're both almost four years older than I am, marriage-inclined, part of my dreams at night, and, unmistakably, I say the most retarded things around them.

For example, on the date last night, we brought his beebee gun out to Rock Canyon, and we were shooting rocks and stuff, and when I was aiming, I had the gun against my right shoulder, and I was looking through the scope with my left eye. I complained that the right side of my face was in the way. hahaha. I was trying to be funny, but it still sounded retarded. I was embarrassed a little when he made fun of me.

Oh, THE WORST THING I SAID was a remark on a car we saw parked in Rock Canyon, (with foggy windows, couple inside, yes...) when I mentioned that my boyfriend junior year liked kissing in the car. I regretted it immediately. He laughed about it later, but it was still slutty-sounding, especially on a date. On a first date! What does it mean when a girl presents information like that on a first date?

I really hope he doesn't think about that.

He texted me a couple hours ago because I left my list (of common ions I'm trying to memorize for Chem) in his car. I asked him what he's doing today, and he's studying. All day. He came by just now to give my list back, and when I invited him to the Malt Shoppe with Maureen and me, he really did seem sad when he said he had to go home and study more.

He's a catch.

KEY: *"Kabe-replacement": There's a crew member in Divine Comedy named Kabe, who is leaving the group, so Jordan is replacing him

**"Mardee-type": Mardee is now my sister-in-law, and she was raised in Utah, so she was basically culturally ignorant when she met my brother. She's a great catch, but she had to adjust to my family culture a little bit, since we listen/watch a greater variety of international media and we travel internationally frequently.