went on a date tonight

I have only been to my Portland-area Singles Ward three times, and all three occasions have been memorably pleasant. I've come out of the meetings every time with new friends and amazingly real and meaningful relationships for the short amount of time I've spent with each targeted human being. Alex, the house manager of Divine Comedy, goes to my ward, and I often sit near her in sunday school or Relief Society and meet her friends. One Gospel Doctrine class she was seated next to a good-looking man, and I quickly grabbed the one empty chair at the end of the row next to him. I was somewhat hyper that day, making more comments about the teacher/lesson/other contributors than usual, and he thought they were funny, started to add on even. All through the lesson we were paying pretty good attention, but more for the means to make commentary at EVERYTHING than for the acquisition of more personal enlightenment. ha. He's easy to talk to. He goes to Portland State University. He served in Cincinatti, Ohio. He's an Economics major.
That was the last sunday I went to the Singles ward (I usually go to Lauren and Nicholi's ward or to the Clive cousins') and it was my only experience with Tyler. Since then I've seen him once more at Alex's house for a small get-together, but the entire time we were both engaged in group talk. We're friends on facebook now, but neither of us has even messaged the other.
There's another boy from Singles ward, and even before today I'd talked to him several times during linger-longers, on facebook, and via texting after he asked my number on my most recent Singles ward Sunday, probably 2 or 3 weeks ago. He and I hung out in Portland after I got off work today. I came in on the Max, and we walked over to this park where we sort of chilled on a bench for an hour or so. He pulled out his guitar and played some original stuff, and it was pretty good and special for his being self-taught. I liked talking to him, for the most part. Whenever we talk, the topic of conversation always turns to his past and what a bad kid he used to be. He's a good Mormon now, but he had a four-year period of crazy teenagerhood. He was incredibly open with me in describing all this. Several times he mentioned his regret for not being worthy of ever going on a mission. I felt really sorry for him, because of how cool and energetic he is and what a burden all this remaining remorse should be, and because it sucks that a mission would realistically be his only chance at getting out of America at least at this time in his life.
He complimented me in weird ways. He told me, after we walked through the park, how many guys we passed were checking me out. "You didn't notice them looking at you?" he'd say. and we went to play frisbee with his friends this afternoon. Apparently they made comments to him about me and requested that he bring hot girls more often. I was flattered when he told me, but it made me feel like these kids are stuck around too many ugly people if they thought I was anything. And I guess it's true. They were all pretty awkward kids, like the gay-straight alliance, anime club, fantasy sports club members all grown up, with tattoos. "You didn't notice them looking at you?" again. I guess I wasn't paying attention; I was busy sucking at frisbee.
Tonight we saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and it has Michael Cera in it. It was really funny and I enjoyed seeing it with him. I liked it because we were both into it. He doesn't talk during movies. Or maybe he does usually but this was our first time hanging out so it was kindof awkward. Eventually it got flirty, though. He does this gentle punch thing, like a cute bunny sock to the arm when I say something he laughs at.
"That's me in five years" I would say about a massively obese woman in floral leggings with a pink fanny pack, and he would laugh and nudge my arm.
On my way home I texted him to let him know I was alive and not raped, and I mentioned those homeless guys who approach you past midnight asking "How you doin', girl?" and he responded "that's me in five years." I told him I'd be a little less scared with him approaching me, a scrawny white dude my age... plus, well yeah, I know him. and, SIR FREUD, what he said next: "I don't know how to think about that. Happy because you would be fine with me or really sad because you'd be fine with me." ... sorry, this is weird but what he said was weird, so I have to say something ... "Happy [pleased and flattered] because you'd be fine with me or really sad because you'd be fine [settling] with me." ?
WITH ANYONE AS AWESOME AS I AM, one time or another I'm going to have to accept that any boy is a step down. hahaha
I kinda feel retarded saying that, but it's been true with everyone I've liked, and there are few things worse than being the one (practicing) Mormon in a more-than-friends thing.
But the guy I went on the date with was really cool. He's all good now. I think I'll hang with him next weekend, because he knows about a lot of cool stuff to do in Portland.

Friday night Lily and I wanted to go dancing. I called my friend, and he gave us directions to get to this gay dance club. He's never been gay, he's just a little crazy. It was an awesome suggestion, so good. Gay dance clubs are the best because every gay guy knows how to dance and none of them stare at you. Thanks, my friend, for an excellent, adventurous weekend.

Anyway,
I'm thinking of getting a tattoo.