stop calling me joel

So, over the course of the surf trip, I made a few discoveries. Firstly, I'm the only overweight kid in my family, and secondly, I won't be able to surf well or get up on waves until I'm not overweight. Those were the biggest things I found in myself. My dad talked to me one night about my priorities and he thinks I should drop my job so that I have more time to work out and get good grades, because right now I'm not such a good catch and I'd be a lot more attractive if I were smart and fit. So that's what I'm going to aim for. I think I should cut down my internet time, too. and I should write for DC more.
The other thing I've discovered would be really scary to me a year ago. It bothers me how it doesn't bother me now.... I watched Social Network with my family the other night and I really liked it, for the right reasons, like it was interesting and I've wanted to know how facebook started and I like the intelligence in the script but ALSO, like, I had this connection with the movie at bad parts, and I liked them a little bit. I like the rowdiness of loud parties with drinking and crazy people and making out on the stairs. Something has happened to me to the point that I have switched my standards for things. I think it's just because of my stupid summer and the movies I've been watching and the music I've been loading and the magazines I subscribe to. I subconsciously seek this stuff. And now I look at it and I see how it is wrong. I see how it is not of God. I see how people at my level of interest, who haven't ever crossed a line, are in danger of crossing a line. It's this desire I have that pulls me closer to the line. I don't want to give up these things, I want to stay right here, but the longer I hold onto these, the longer I'm settling in dirt. (But it's not dirt. Agh, so annoying. Does anyone understand me?) To God, this is dirt. But to me, well, I love it. I don't want my heart to be set on the things of the world, but there are so many things that I love that are worldly and I don't know how to break up with them. Like Bad-Ass attitudes. (Like saying/typing the word "Bad-Ass".) Like deep-fried twinkies.

These are my confessions.